sugar dating

A “possible” sigh of relief…

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I recently created a sugar profile on Ashley Madison.  Last week I mentioned the man I had drinks with, from there.  One of the best meets I’ve had so far, in my recent SD search.  This week proved to be an even better meet.  Also from AM, I had a 3.5 hour lunch with “The Pilot”.  Yes, he actually owns a private jet!

What a lunch!  We talked and flirted, over wine, crab and filet.  Yummy food and great conversation…what more could a girl ask for, right?  When our time had to come to a close, he asked what my plans were for the rest of the day.  I said errands, bank, grocery store.  He said, “You should probably have something to put in the bank….or buy shoes”.  He then laid $300 on the table.  I thanked him and he walked me to my car.  I stopped on the way home, spent $100 on a new pair of black heels and put the rest in the bank.  I text later to say thank you again.  He told me to set the bar high, because he had. He finds me very sexy, intriguing and to be quite the powerhouse.  We have text daily since and he has asked to see me again this week.  Yesterday, he suggested a trip to Chicago on the jet, with shopping, spoiling and dinner.  I am totally NOT opposed to that.

  • One problem with this great guy though………..my sugar buddy is seeing him as well!  I guess time will tell if this will be a battle of the blondes and how this will pan out for either of us.

Even with these two great meets, I still have a few other conversations going.  Some local and some from other states.  I am slightly addicted to POT collecting, I think. If there was an A&E hoarding show for men, I could fill 2-3 episodes!  I just cannot pass up a decent sounding/appearing man.  In the sugar bowl there are a lot of what ifs until you find the perfect sugar daddy.  I feel I would be selling myself short to discount anyone of interest, just in case my two favorites don’t work out.    For now, I will give ample focus to The Pilot and my date from last week.  Can’t think of a nick name for him yet, but if he sticks around I am sure I will come up with something.

Dear Sweet Sugar Baby Jesus,

Please let my search be over.  I have weeded through hundreds to finally be excited about two lone men.  I have set my standards high and not diverged from my path.   As my dear friends Def Leppard would say, “Pour some sugar on me”.

Thanks, good talk, love your face.

xoxox…ME

~Amen

 

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Hi, I am new to this and I want to make you an offer…

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As promised to some Twitter followers, here is the conversation I had this morning with a POT.  His screen name is Don Juan. #1 Not so original #2 If you’re gonna use the name of one of the greatest lovers of all time, back your shit up with a decent offer, son.

This was his first email.  It actually came a few days ago and I just hadn’t responded to it yet.

This member has granted you permission to view their private photos. Click here to view Omar’s profile:www.seekingarrangement.com/member/detail.php?id=1431115

Love your profile.. Let’s start with some shopping.. Or shall we pay your bills first? :)

Not too shabby.  Kind of vague, but I can work with it….  He ended up emailing me again this morning.

Hey there.. :)

Okay so what I’d like to offer you is a $500 monthly allowance to help you out with expenses, shopping, or whatever else you’d like..

I’m a pretty laid back guy, so no drama or pressure, would just like to hang out a couple times a week maybe.. Preferably at your place..

Definitely need someone mature who understands that I’m married and can’t have any psycho behavior or stalkerishness! lolol..

Anyway, let me know what you think and if you’re interested we can discuss more or meet up… Have a great weekend!

I appreciate the offer, but $500 a month is far less than what I would expect or have received in past SD/SB relationships. Especially when you are asking someone to give up several nights a week and host.

Well I’d be available during the day if that helps… :)

Perhaps you didn’t understand what I was saying. I am a companion and my companionship is valuable in many ways, regardless of when you are available. An allowance is meant to support a SB financially. This would be inclusive of all bills. Spoiling, shopping, etc.. is above and beyond and is discretionary. $500 monthly is far from generous in this or any SB/SD situation. I think you would be better served to request the services of an escort.

Well your profile doesn’t convey that information, so it probably shouldn’t come as a surprise that I don’t understand. I’m not a mind reader, right? You’re 40 years old, so you probably don’t expect as much as a 25 year old, and they all ask for about $1000, so that’s how I approximated my offer. I may be better served by requesting an escort and you might be better off becoming one.

I am not a twenty-something twit, looking to go shopping. My profile conveys what and who I am. A serious sugar daddy should recognize that. You don’t have to be a mind reader to know what the nature of any serious arrangement is. Age has nothing to do with it and you basing an offer upon that is ridiculous. Moreover, insulting. Maybe you don’t truly understand what it is to be a Sugar Daddy or the meaning of what a Sugar baby is.

Although $1000 would be a better offer, my prior arrangements were much more than that.I wouldn’t become an escort, because as a sugar baby, it REALLY is more than the money. Even though we are debating dollars here, a sugar baby is so MUCH more than the money! She is a friend, confidant, lover, etc.. A sugar daddy is a friend, lover,confidant and mentor. The “allowance” is merely a show of appreciation for what she provides and not just in a sexual way.

Fair enough. I actually agree with you.

I regret what I said, but I did feel that you were speaking to me in a condescending fashion. Regardless, I shouldn’t have said that.

I’m probably not as serious of a sugar daddy as others you have encountered, primarily because I’m 29 years old. How many sugar daddies have you dealt with in their 20s? I’m not a multimillionaire and I can’t pay someone the equivalent of the average american salary to hang out with me a half dozen times a month. I’m also not asking anyone to be exclusive with me so feel free to carry on searching for a mega sugar daddy. Until that time, I’m here.

Your age should not matter either. It comes down to where you are emotionally/intellectually and how you go about seeking that. A serious SD offers the higher allowance, because he covets quality and is willing to make sure his SB is comfortable and provided for. This in turn, relieves worry and stress for the SB. She in Turn has more time of quality, to spend with her SD.I was really trying to explain that your $500 offer is more of a “filler” offer. That would definitely not garner you quality time several times a week with a serious SB.

He didn’t respond after that!

Sweet baby Jesus…..we have talked about this!  Stop sending these Newbies my way.  Although, it has me thinking.  I could possibly HELP these men.  I have an idea…..muahahahahahahaha

 

Why do I do what I do?????

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They come from near and far to capture her attention. But who will seek to find her soul?

For argument sake, let’s just say I met a man, in the “real world” or in the traditional sense of dating.  He happens to have money.  I like him, he likes me and we decide to see each other on a regular basis.  Wouldn’t most  men take you out to dinner, buy you gifts from time to time and maybe do special things for you, like treat you to a spa day?  I think so.  Yet WE decide that this relationship will not be traditional.  There is no jealousy, no strings holding us to each other.  It is just fun.  All of the good parts and forget the bad.  What an amazing concept, right?!  That is what a SD/SB relationship is.  All of the cards are on the table. It is the most emotionally and sexually freeing experience you will ever have!

At first I thought this would just be an alternative to dating.  Then I started to see the opportunities that it could afford me. Travel, connections, financial freedom, NSA relationships, gifts, etc….  More importantly, I decided to document the journey. I am not a student of psychology, but I find this process, the people involved and the dance around it fascinating!  My search for a suggar daddy(s) and what the nature of the relationship is really like.

To me any relationship should be founded on a few basic principles.
Trust
True companionship
Real affection
Genuine care and concern
Honesty
Discretion
Committment

In the SD/SB relationship, these are still paramount. Probably more so. As a SB, it is your role to fulfill these needs and take care of a man as he takes care of you. It is an exchange of things and an arrangement for that exchange. It is important to lay out the rules and parameters up front.  Talk about how it is gonna work.  What each other’s needs are and how you will provide that for each other. What does he pay for?  What does he expect? How will you give that to him? What do you expect? These questions are basic and can change with any given situation.  A married man requires extreme discretion and his family life it to be respected.  That’s not to say that it is always a non-subject. A single man may not care who knows, but some also require discretion. Additionally, your privacy is important too.  Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries!  Think of it like a mutually beneficial contract. Two parties entering into an agreement that is binding. Overall, the beauty of the situation is that it can be designed to whatever ones needs are. Sex, conversation, companionship, etc…

My perspective on SD/SB…..
Ultimately, it’s an arrangement. Hopefully a friendship and bond develops. Obviously we would know that after we’ve met. To me, it means that you get all of the benefits of a GF or wife without the strings and perils of a much more serious and complicated relationship. In return, I am a friend, confidant, lover (sometimes), and an escape from the every day. My benefits can include gifts, allowance, travel and the pleasure you receive from my company. Overall your happiness and general well being are the key to making it work. This is not to say that I am not to be considered or respected. In fact, I should be cherished. I will give what most women will not. A truly engaging relationship experience without the fuss. The freedom to be yourself, without judgement.

The way I look at it is this…if in this process, I find a soul mate, great!  If not, nothing ventured-nothing gained!! I am smart, attractive and have a lot to offer. I am not finding what I want/need “in the real world”.  Until I get what I want and deserve in a relationship, I refuse to settle and/or be tied to something/someone that is less than I desire..

I have seen in my searches and have felt through conversations with many men, that for the most part they are lacking something.  Whether married or single, most have focused on career for years and have let personal relationships suffer and/or fail.