Married men are looking for the girlfriend experience again… Somewhat searching for a fantasy I think. Their wives are either unwilling, or they are not willing to ask her for some “spice.” The saying is “Happy wife-Happy life.” ooooooooooooook……..What about a happy husband?
For example: (an e-mail I received)
I AM A gentleman to the core. Real and not into mind games. Easy going, caring and looking for someone to spoil and pamper. Love travel, fine dining, and quiet, intimate moments with the special one – be it on the beach, by a roaring fire or under the stars in a tropical forest (unless you are afraid of spiders). LOOKING FOR: A relationship with no strings attached, where we are both givers of what the other wants and seeks. The kind of relationship I want is one where if I walked up to you and wrapped my arms around you while we were in the grocery store, and whispered “I want you right now” – you would walk away from the cart and go home so we could make mad passionate love,, and grocery shop later with a smile :-) Must be able to communicate well, be passionate, sensual, and ABSOLUTELY drama free. I could go on, but unless we meet we will never know (after all I would hope that we are not here seeking an email or chat buddy) So if you like what you have read, send me an interest, and lets talk and meet and make this happen. Nothing happens on its own, it is up to us to make IT happen :-).
I think that “the chase” is gone from relationships in our society. Although it always starts with it, people forget about it after a while. YOU CANNOT DO THIS! This is why people cheat,or become bored. Hence, the relationship goes stale. It’s as simple as a love note tucked in his wallet or pocket, a dirty text mid-day, or thoughtful gestures that never stop. I know that marriage and/or relationships get stressed by the day to day and children are needy. The love fades quickly when these things are allowed to bog you down. SD/SB style is to always be light and fun. I know that in a marriage or traditional relationship, keeping it light isn’t always an option, however it has to be mixed in there somewhere. Think of it as a contract. Write it out if you have to…and sign that shit! Moreover, mean it and live!
The things that really bother me about women/wives today:
- Letting themselves go…….would a little pride in your appearance kill you????
- “I have my man” syndrome……he might be a keeper, but what are you going to do to KEEP him?
- I’m busy with the kids…..There is always time for him and you as a couple. I don’t care if you have to set an alarm to have sex at 3 a.m., make the damn time. Get up 15 minutes early and make him coffee before work, slip that note in his jacket, pants pocket, etc…
They come from near and far to capture her attention. But who will seek to find her soul?
For argument sake, let’s just say I met a man, in the “real world” or in the traditional sense of dating. He happens to have money. I like him, he likes me and we decide to see each other on a regular basis. Wouldn’t most men take you out to dinner, buy you gifts from time to time and maybe do special things for you, like treat you to a spa day? I think so. Yet WE decide that this relationship will not be traditional. There is no jealousy, no strings holding us to each other. It is just fun. All of the good parts and forget the bad. What an amazing concept, right?! That is what a SD/SB relationship is. All of the cards are on the table. It is the most emotionally and sexually freeing experience you will ever have!
At first I thought this would just be an alternative to dating. Then I started to see the opportunities that it could afford me. Travel, connections, financial freedom, NSA relationships, gifts, etc…. More importantly, I decided to document the journey. I am not a student of psychology, but I find this process, the people involved and the dance around it fascinating! My search for a suggar daddy(s) and what the nature of the relationship is really like.
To me any relationship should be founded on a few basic principles.
Genuine care and concern
In the SD/SB relationship, these are still paramount. Probably more so. As a SB, it is your role to fulfill these needs and take care of a man as he takes care of you. It is an exchange of things and an arrangement for that exchange. It is important to lay out the rules and parameters up front. Talk about how it is gonna work. What each other’s needs are and how you will provide that for each other. What does he pay for? What does he expect? How will you give that to him? What do you expect? These questions are basic and can change with any given situation. A married man requires extreme discretion and his family life it to be respected. That’s not to say that it is always a non-subject. A single man may not care who knows, but some also require discretion. Additionally, your privacy is important too. Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries! Think of it like a mutually beneficial contract. Two parties entering into an agreement that is binding. Overall, the beauty of the situation is that it can be designed to whatever ones needs are. Sex, conversation, companionship, etc…
My perspective on SD/SB…..
Ultimately, it’s an arrangement. Hopefully a friendship and bond develops. Obviously we would know that after we’ve met. To me, it means that you get all of the benefits of a GF or wife without the strings and perils of a much more serious and complicated relationship. In return, I am a friend, confidant, lover (sometimes), and an escape from the every day. My benefits can include gifts, allowance, travel and the pleasure you receive from my company. Overall your happiness and general well being are the key to making it work. This is not to say that I am not to be considered or respected. In fact, I should be cherished. I will give what most women will not. A truly engaging relationship experience without the fuss. The freedom to be yourself, without judgement.
The way I look at it is this…if in this process, I find a soul mate, great! If not, nothing ventured-nothing gained!! I am smart, attractive and have a lot to offer. I am not finding what I want/need “in the real world”. Until I get what I want and deserve in a relationship, I refuse to settle and/or be tied to something/someone that is less than I desire..
I have seen in my searches and have felt through conversations with many men, that for the most part they are lacking something. Whether married or single, most have focused on career for years and have let personal relationships suffer and/or fail.