I think there are two types of women when it comes to giving oral sex. Those who love to tease their man and love to see him sputter under her control. And then the other ones who would have nothing to do with that, as it is sinful and dirty in some way (that’s the minority of women, I hope!)
And I also believe that the way someone thinks about oral sex shows a lot about their personality, in a way. Am I over thinking this? Not really. The person who will willingly do this without hesitation will be the lady who enjoys pleasing her man and she feels empowered, in a way, by doing so. At first it may seem that the woman would feel that is being submitted to something, given the fact that the man lays there waiting to be pleased.. However, I propose that oral sex gives the woman a lot of power and control. She has her man literally by the penis and she is singlehandedly responsible for creating immense pleasure for him. At that time he is subject to her whims and she has the upper hand. Think, ladies, how trusting and vulnerable he is at that precious moment. You are surrounding his manhood with your ruby red lips, and you love how he moans and you also appreciate the feel and texture of his penis. And, he looks down on you as you do all this, and you look up at him as well, thereby throwing in some porn star stuff for extra effect.
Now, the second category of women are those who detest guys going down on them: You know, the one that says ‘I can go down on you, but its ok, you don’t have to reciprocate, not into that’.
I never knew what the fuss was all about. I guess people get self conscious. But on the other hand, isn’t sexual pleasure all about communicating, relaxing, and exploring? Then again some ladies may prefer something more mutually pleasing, like just straight sex. I once had a woman tell me she felt weird seeing some guy’s face between her legs, when only his eyes showed (the rest of his face buried in her vagina I assume!). I guess it was too much of a visual effect for her and she kept getting distracted.
Then again its could also be cultural. I was told that Asian women don’t enjoy that, it’s not considered good in their cultures. Or was that just an excuse for me not to go near there? Oh the things a guy hears when dating…
One thing is for sure: Don’t stop giving’em blow jobs!
As always, just one man’s opinion
David Montrose is an ex-sugar daddy and the author of ‘Sugar Daddy Diary’ where he accounts his dating experiences from a man’s viewpoint
In the car yesterday, I heard a radio DJ discussing the topic of what men complain the most about when it comes to their wives. He was talking specifically about what his friend (a marriage counselor) told him he hears most often from the husbands he sees in therapy. Quite Ironically, this is just after I posted Dear Women Everywhere. My continuing thoughts on this subject are spot on with what the DJ had to say. Most husband’s biggest complaint about their wives is that they feel as though their wives have given up. This goes right back to what I call the “I got a man” syndrome. In part I blame society, other women in particular; and I also blame the women themselves. Whose bright idea was it to let women (and men sometimes even) think that it’s okay to let yourself go, just because you’ve been married for a while. Anyone with half a brain should recognize that this attitude is not only wrong, but detrimental to any relationship.
I got the following comment on my last post:
“I suffer from what I call ‘old-soul syndrome’. I say this because as a girl in her twenties I feel I’ve lived a thousand lives and yet I’ve wasted so much time in this life subconsciously trying to conform to what society deems ‘acceptable’ (in my relationships), when deep down I’ve never cared what other people think of me, and thank God, I never plan to. It goes without saying that this argument will never end, because there will always be some ignorant, bible-toting, insecure house-wife who secretly fantasizes about being bent over by her pool boy or dreams of the life she could’ve had, if she only had the BALLS- as you mentioned. Continue enjoying the knowledge that your openness is appreciated by those of us who ‘get it’.
Phew, I am not the only one out there who ‘gets it’. If you had asked me 10 years ago if I would date a married man, I would have said “No way”! After my first arrangement with a married man, I totally understood why men cheat. Granted not all go the route of an affair or Sugar Baby, but I have yet to meet one married man whose wife didn’t fall causality to the “I got a man”. Sad really, because they are missing out on some of the best parts of their husbands. I suppose a sugar daddy could behave differently in his sugar baby’s presence, but that fun, sexy, generous guy is still part of him. If his wife was as smart as his sugar baby she would work harder at appreciating that side of him and investigating it. By not doing that, it’s like telling him that you just don’t give a shit anymore. Not about what he thinks, how he looks at you or how he feels about you. “For better or worse”, some wives will claim. Worse means someone loses their job or has a terrible disease, and the other supports them while they get through it. It does not reference allowing yourself to become a shell of who you once were.
When wives or girlfriends think commitment alone is a reason for HIM not to cheat; they are absolutely, positively kidding themselves. The number one thing any married sugar daddy says in regards to his home life, is that he does not want to change his situation. He doesn’t want to upset his children or break his wife’s heart. He still respects his wife and cares for his children, but he is still going to cheat on them, because it’s what he needs for himself. I know wives everywhere want to tear my face off right now, but I speak the truth. The minute you let go is the instance in which he sought out another woman. That my friends is your bad for not being aware of the fact that you let go….
I get the “hooker/escort” question a lot from the media and traditional matchmakers in the dating industry. It’s not always easy to explain the difference, depending on the audience. Sometimes, regardless of what you say, the question-asker will never fully understand the difference.
Every February I attend an erotic art installation in Detroit, The Dirty Show. Last year I came upon a well dressed man and his wife. The one thing that made him stand out to me was the hint of a choke chain protruding from the back of his jacket collar. When I asked him what the meaning was supposed to be, he said, “We are all collared by something in life”. Light bulb moment right there, because this man was spot on.
So how does this relate to being a sugar baby? For the purposes of this post, it relates because I had an interesting debate recently about being an escort vs. being a sugar baby. An escort (some not all) will tell you all day long that there is zero difference between the two. An intelligent sugar baby will not only tell you that there is a difference, but she can articulate that difference. In life we are all a “whore” to something. Knowing the difference between “whoring” yourself as a necessary sacrifice for the greater good of something and actually being a whore is the key. By this I mean putting in 14 hour days as an entrepreneur, maybe sucking up to people you don’t care for because they can provide beneficial industry advice vs. literally exchanging your body or sex for money, or gifts.
As an extension of this blog, I run a private facebook group for sugar babies. One of the biggest complaints I hear from girls, new and old to sugaring, is how men are devaluing women and treating them like escorts. Why? We all know why. This decline started about 2 1/2 years ago. Escorts and hookers saw sugar dating websites as an extra income stream or perhaps a possibly more steady income stream. Couple with that, the stigma that men are trying to avoid. I have written about this before. They “pose” as a sugar daddy, when they are really a john. They don’t want to be seen as a man who frequents escorts, yet they want to meet a sugar baby every other Wednesday, at 2pm, at a hotel, for two hours of sex/play, give her $400, have no contact whatsoever until the next appointment…and call that an arrangement. The “pay to play” mentality is like a plague on sugar dating. Real sugar babies and sugar daddies are constantly fighting against it. Perfect example.. a search term that brought someone to my blog, “How much do I charge a sugar daddy to skype”? Are you fucking kidding me??? A sugar baby DOES NOT charge for a call like a phone sex operator. Phone calls are about getting to know the other person, to ascertain if there is further interest. Stop sticking your hand out for “yours”, before you even proven that you have worth. I am shaking my head, wagging a finger and rolling my eyes so hard at whomever typed that and anyone who thinks that way.
Last week I attended the International Dating Conference. The final panel debate got heated when it was pointed out to owners and CEOs of particular sites, that the issue of time wasters and unauthentic “daters” is their (the owners) fault. Reason being??? They don’t use their own product. They merely collect a paycheck and pay no attention to what is happening. Perfect example of this is the “No escorts” disclaimer on the homepage of SA. Laughable at best. Raise your hand if you have ever rolled through a stop sign. Of course you glance around really quickly for cops or pedestrians, but you’re rolling through regardless, right? That is the same thing an escort does when filling out a profile on SA. They see this warning as simply a suggestion. Does Brandon Wade or any of the staff at SA really police the profiles? Hell no! If they did, I wouldn’t be writing this post.
Stay tuned for Part 2