mutually beneficial relationships
The scandal around the Google executive who overdosed with an escort brings Seeking Arrangement under fire recently. Sugar babies everywhere are getting a bad rap. For those women “in the bowl” who are not escorts, stories like this only fuel the fiery debate surrounding sugar dating. As a sugar baby and sugar dating adviser, site owner and mentor I am always speaking out on women’s behalf to dispel the myths. READ THE REST HERE
When I set out in sugar dating a few years ago, I did it as I do everything else in life. I did my homework. I studied the best sites and honed my skills in the lifestyle, arrangements and negotiation. Little did I know that my dip into the sugar bowl would be one of the greatest lessons of my life. I traveled, received excellent business advice and most importantly I found out who I really am. If you are a girl looking to start sugar dating, there are some things you need to know before you start.
- Know your worth. You are not something to be bought and sold. You are a human being with needs, desires and a brain. Anyone can walk the streets and sell their orifices to random strangers. Use your damn brain and be better than that. Always be up front about what you need, what your expectations are and ask for the same.
- Cash is not king. In fact, forget about the money. Money only rents happiness. For a time it can and will provide you with “things”, but those things are not forever. Know the difference. Also don’t choose sugar dating as a way out of personal debt or desperation for money. That’s just sad.
- Shoes don’t pay the bills. Nor do they help you in your career or to save for the future. Get a savings account and don’t be frivolous. Invest if at all possible.
- Yes you can fall in love, but that is highly unlikely. Most sugar daddies are married and they are not leaving their wife, no matter what they say. Do fall in “like” however.
- Learn to negotiate. If you want this life, you have to ask for it. You have to be comfortable enough to explain why you place value on what you bring to the table.
- Have a buddy. Find another sugar baby so you have someone to talk to about your life. A lot of times your regular friends will just not understand. I created a whole network of women across the world for this purpose. Email me and I will send you an invite.
- Toughen up. Not everyone in sugar dating has the best intentions. There are men that are true predators that use sugar dating sites, just like in the regular dating world. You will be asked things and told things that will make you cringe. I have been offered porn, plastic surgery and to board planes with no questions asked. All of which I said no to by the way.
- Be a sponge. Learn everything you possibly can from the people you meet. If possible, choose sugar daddies that can provide mentorship in addition to allowance.
- Know who you are. When your days are done in sugar dating, you should not walk away so changed that it is a 180 from who you once were. Be smarter, wiser and worldlier of course, but do not let it harden you.
- Like whom you date. Don’t just jump at men because they have money. For every man you turn down, there are 20 behind him. Choose men that you are actually attracted to on some level. Whether it is physical or intellectual, hold out for the whole package. This especially applies to sex. If you are not attracted, keep your damn clothes on.
This is not a lifestyle for the faint of heart. If you are not careful, it will chew you up and spit you out. It can also be extremely rewarding and educational on a number of levels. If you do choose to delve into the world of sugar, do it with some smarts. Surround yourself with opportunity and except it gracefully.
In the not so glamorous world of being a sugar baby, it is easy to get swept away, as a new comer. I get questions weekly from girls who have painted themselves into a corner with a POT. One of the biggest questions is about sex. We’ll get to that, but let’s first talk about protecting your identity. Remember what your mother told you about stranger danger? It applies here more than you can know. Read the rest on my Sugar Baby Blog over at Wealthymen.com