Having rules is not a bad thing. As children we rebel against them, but as we grow and become adults we realize that rules are necessary. They define situations and create boundaries, that protect us from ourselves and outside forces. In dating, sugar relationships are no exception. In fact, as freeing as the experience may be, it still has limits that must be respected. The perimeters of each sugar relationship will always be different. The basics like discretion and respect should be a mainstay though.
I treat the sugar relationships I have no different than “regular” dating, when it comes to my behavior. I am kind, sweet, understanding and loads of fun. I do stick to the basics when it comes to sugar baby staples however. I am not demanding. I leave drama out of it. I am respectful of him and a home life, if he has one. I never take him for granted or take advantage of his generosity.
I receive a lot of email and I follow the stats on my blog pretty closely. I am constantly fielding questions or checking to see what sugar babies and sugar daddies are asking. Sometimes I catch myself shaking my head at people. Sometimes I want to smack them and then give them a big fat hug. Sometimes I want to virtually high five some of you too. More than anything, it makes me happy that I keep this blog. This blog is my outlet for personal experiences, but it is also part of who I am as a writer and student of human nature. The fact that I can give advice or help people while doing it, makes it all the more rewarding.
We are all only human. We are products of our environment and do our best to overcome adversity. Each of our stories is unique. So, what can we do to change the narrative of our life story? The simple answer to to be a better person, right? What if you’re a sugar baby or a sugar daddy? How do you better yourself through sugar?
If you are smart, you will use sugar dating as a platform of enrichment. Not to line your pockets, but to to fill your mind. That could be through formal education, a more worldly view or just the experience itself. Money comes and goes. It builds empires and also crumbles them. It is the experiences and knowledge that you gain, that powers you forward. If you allow yourself to be swept up in the money and fake your way through it; all you have acquired is cash. I say that in a blanketing way, but I hear this story over and over on a very specific level. Girl meets boy. They make an arrangement. All is well. Girl lies to boy. He finds out, yet keeps the relationship going. She stays because the money is good. Boy realizes that he is too involved and something has to give. Boy writes me……
I won’t betray a reader and be more specific than the above synopsis. I will say this though; a lie is a lie is a lie! If you can’t be honest with a man who is paying your bills (and then some), when he has made it clear that this is an open book situation; you are an asshole! You do not deserve his trust, care or concern. I asked my sugar daddy friend Porter about this situation. I wanted the SD perspective on this, as well. Here is what he said…
“While I have no problem with his spying on his SB to see if she’s being truthful, or on calling her out on her deception, what he does with the information (as in, stay or go) is the strongest measure of his character. At the end of the day, he is taking $xxxx a month away from his family to pay for her and he needs to have some integrity about that. This is why I now shut down any arrangement if I discover deception of any kind.”
Character and integrity. Amen! Preach Porter!!!! This is why ladies, not only should you listen to your sugar daddy while you are with him; you should have them as friends. As a sugar baby, how often do you think about your allowance as money being taken from that man’s family or business? Your gain is a loss to someone else. So, what would you think of a sugar baby who received nearly six figures, in two years and hasn’t TRULY improved her life?