A man should not satisfy his need for her until he has satisfied her need for him….

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I came across this draft of a post that I never put up.  Silly me!  Better late than never I suppose. ( I have another that will go up next week)

To me any relationship should be founded on a few basic principles:

  • Trust
  • True companionship
  • Real affection
  • Genuine care and concern
  • Honesty
  • Discretion
  • Commitment

In the SD/SB relationship, these are still paramount. Probably more so. As a sugar baby, it is your role to fulfill these needs and take care of a man as he takes care of you. It is an exchange of things and an arrangement for that exchange. It is important to talk about what each others needs are and how you will provide that for each other. What does he pay for?  What does he expect? How will you give that to him? What do you expect? These questions are basic and can change with any given situation.  A married man requires extreme discretion and his family life it to be respected.  That’s not to say that it is always a non-subject. MY rule on this is, only talk about it if he does  A single man may not care who knows, but some also require discretion.

I have seen in my emails and have felt through  a lot of conversations, that these men  for the most part are lacking something.  Often they have focused on career for years and have let personal relationships suffer and/or fail.  They have turned to this lifestyle for its ease and comfort.  Naturally then, it should be focused on what you can do to be that comfort and provide it with ease. In doing so, you will be rewarded handsomely.

So, what does all of this mean?  What am I getting at?  Very simply put, your approach to a potential sugar daddy needs to keep all of this in mind.  Especially in correspondence.  Regardless of who makes the first move, it is your duty to get to the heart of what he needs and wants, or is lacking in his life.  In initial conversations, I always make it about what he is seeking. I encourage moving to private email or texting (Google Voice), as soon as possible.  Get him to focus on your correspondence and not be flipping through profiles, as you are trying to woo him. I am totally guilty of this by the way.  I am notorious for being on two different sites simultaneously, while g-mailing AND texting.  I just happen to be that good :)

A common “robo email” I send goes a little something like this… (based on him emailing first, providing a compliment and asking would I like to correspond)

Dear “John”,

Thank you for the lovely compliment.  I was equally impressed with your profile, as well.  I would certainly be interested in talking to you further.
I would love to hear more about YOU, what you’re hoping to find and perhaps what your looking for in an arrangement. You can contact me directly at blahblah@gmail.com.
If you’re comfortable with it, please enclose a picture.  I always like to put a face with the conversation :)

I look forward to hearing from you!

“Susie”

He’s already read your profile and made contact.  Clearly he is interested. This is my preference, but I like to respond back (if I am interested), making it about him. I like to keep it short and concise.  Give him the opportunity to tell you what his needs are.  Does he want to see you 2 or 4 times a month?  Where are the gaps in his life that he needs filled? The arrangement part is to gauge whether or not he’s had one before and/or if he is open to one. Know this in advance…a lot of men on sugar sites are looking for girlfriends or wifey material.  Their profiles are not always clear about their intentions. I make providing a picture HIS idea, only if he is comfortable of course. This also shows that you want to start creating an intimacy with him. Picture his face, when you are talking to him.

Here is an example of a very through REAL response I got from such an email:

Hello
Thanks for reaching out and offering an email.  Its a little easier to communicate via email.
In terms of my experiences I have had two situations which would be similar.  I am a busy white collar
professional and I don’t have a lot of time to invest in a relationship that consumes up all my spare time
but I do appreciate and enjoy it when I find someone where there is a connection or chemistry with.
These relationships mostly evolved around enjoying a nice dinner or lunch together or perhaps just
getting together for a drink and appetizer or enjoying a fine glass of wine somewhere quiet.
 After a while trust was developed and we traveled a little within the Unite States and spent a few nights
 in Florida, New York, Texas, etc as a way to spend time together.  For right now I am looking for
someone to meet on an occasional basis for a nice meal, drinks and quality time during the weekdays
generally from 8am-5pm including some shopping, short business trips, etc. If the chemistry is there and
mutual then I can see it evolving over time once the level of trust comes in.
In terms of the financial relationship I think each situation is different depending on the person and what
they are looking for themselves.  For the past two people I was with it ranged from car loans, tuition support,
rent, etc.  There was a pretty big range and the needs came and went during the relationship.
I would be interested to hear about your past arrangements as well to help me get an idea on what you
have experienced and what you are looking for as well. That way we can clear up and misconceptions
or understandings along the way.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

So, now we know that we can play ball with this guy.  I responded quickly.  First, I made sure to thank him for his well thought out and concise correspondence. I told him what the terms of my last arrangement(s) were and addressed availability.  Knowing that we were on the same page, he sent pictures before I could even ask. We are now discussing meeting.

Moral of the story, the best approach is a timely and articulate one!  Always exude an eagerness to know him. Obviously offer details about yourself if he asks, but make him feel interesting and desired. Feed his ego and intellect.  But as always, leave him wanting MORE……

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